What is an example of a difficult child temperament?

If you’re a parent or caregiver of a young child, you likely already know that parenting has its fair share of ups and downs. But when your child has a difficult temperament, these challenges can happen more often than you might expect, leaving you wondering how to cope.

Though the challenges are real, having a difficult temperament does not mean that there’s something “wrong” with your child or your parenting style or that you are a “bad” parent.

Instead, it indicates natural differences in personality and individual styles relating to people, events, or the environment.

Even so, there are effective ways to manage problematic behavior and help your child become their personal best.

What is a difficult temperament?

Parents or caregivers often instinctively know their child has a difficult temperament. For instance, their child may cry or act fussy more often, be more difficult to console, or be described by others as “a handful.”

According to a 2017 study Trusted Source, difficult temperament is characterized by:

Negative mood: Your child may have an overall negative perspective on things and may be hard to please or difficult to comfort.

Withdrawal: Instead of actively participating in new activities or environments, your child may retract away from them.

For example, when invited to a new playgroup, a child experiencing a difficult temperament may adamantly refuse to join in and shut down emotionally if you attempt to coax them to socialize.

Low adaptability: Your youngster may have difficulty accepting changes in routines, environment, or activities. For instance, your child may become angry if plans to go to their favorite toy store change abruptly, resulting in a temper tantrum.

High intensity: Emotional responses in a child with a difficult temperament may be more positive or negative than expected. An example of this might be inconsolable crying over something that typically shouldn’t elicit this response.

Low regularity: A child with a difficult temperament may not have a settled routine or predictability — impacting their ability to learn or complete tasks. For instance, a child with low regularity may have chaotic sleep schedules or difficulty learning developmental skills like toilet training.

Why does my kid have a difficult temperament?

Having a difficult temperament does not mean your kid is “bad” or that you are a “bad” parent. Instead, it simply indicates natural differences in personality and individual styles relating to people, events, or the environment.

Although having a difficult temperament is not a developmental disorder, challenging behaviors can sometimes indicate conditions such as:

autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
emotional disturbance (ED)

So, if your child regularly displays emotional or behavioral challenges, consider talking with your child’s healthcare professional about your concerns. Based on symptoms and behaviors, they may pursue testing to determine if your child may have something else going on besides a difficult temperament.

As far as causes, 2017 research suggests that genetics may play a significant role in temperament and personality. Even if raised in separate households, identical twins still share similar traits, scientists note.

In addition, 2022 research indicates that negative and positive parenting early in the child’s life does not moderate the pathways of difficult temperaments. Children may have a challenging temperament no matter what their parents do.

Still, although a child’s basic temperament doesn’t change as time goes on, it can lessen in intensity with appropriate management.